Bluestocking Catalogue #11
One year of marriage, not-pumpkin fall cookies, some of the best coffee I've ever tasted, & wedding pics for good measure.
In a few days, Noah and I will mark our one-year wedding anniversary. Recently, a friend asked me how our first year of marriage had been and all I could come up with was “good.” “Good,” I thought to myself, cringing. “That’s like saying it’s been ‘nice’.” This first year together has been good, though. It’s also been unexpected (#2020), quiet, and steady - lots of time together at home broken up by short, masked excursions to favorite local spots, bike rides, back yard time, and several camping trips.
I have been hesitant to write about marriage because I am a novice here. I don’t have the earned wisdom of years of living into vows. What I do have is my own experience. So I’m writing not about all marriage, or even about the idea of marriage, but about our marriage-more specifically, my experience of it, and what I am learning about trust.
At our wedding one year ago, my maid of honor told the story of how I described Noah to her after we first got together. I told her that I was scared, that I didn’t know what we were doing, and that the stakes felt high - but that I instinctively trusted him. For those who know me, trust does not come easily. Keeping one foot out the door is a survival mechanism served me well during my formative years; most of the grown-ups in my young life were not trustworthy. I learned to fend for myself and for my siblings, I learned to sit facing the door, I learned to always leave myself a way out. After experiencing countless small betrayals, I learned not to let myself get in too deep, lest I risk the disappointment and heartache I was sure I could not face.
My maid of honor knew this, and so she knew my confession of trust mattered. Later, when I doubted my own deepest knowing, she reminded me of this one thing. (I am convinced is one of the most sacred roles of true friendship: to remind you of who you are and what you know in your bones when you forget.) At our wedding a year ago, she shared this story in her maid of honor speech, of how at the beginning I told her I was scared but that I trusted Noah. Of how, together, she and I coined the phrase #TrustTheBeard in reference to him. Of how she saw her own loyalty to me matched by his.
In the last year, he has continued to demonstrate his trustworthiness in a thousand everyday ways, proving to me that I am not alone and that I am, indeed, loved. I am on my way to believing it.
Recipe: Apple PB Cookies
The stress baking has been continuing in full swing, y’all. I really enjoyed these hearty cookies that have a different texture than traditional PB cookies - the apple adds sweetness and and pockets of softness. They make a perfect afternoon snack, preferably outside with a book & falling leaves.
Book: The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune
I impulse bought this contemporary fantasy on Kindle sale, and I loved it. Our bumbling protagonist, Linus Baker, is stuck in his job evaluating orphanages for children with magical gifts under a controlling government. When the story begins, he’s the perfect “objective” worker, so much so that he’s sent on a secret mission to evaluate a very special orphanage. Not only does Linus change because of his encounter with the inhabitants of the house in the Cerulean Sea, they change because of him. The ending is satisfying and hopeful.
This book reminded me of The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart in the best way, and Klune sends strong message about what an authoritarian government means for society’s “misfits,” while imagining a more just, beautiful world. This book reminded me sometimes the simplest acts are most subversive, like embracing the full humanity of someone who’s different from you. I’d highly recommend it.
Coffee: Death Before Decaf
While I was baking sourdough, my friend and colleague Luke took on coffee roasting and is now working on his dream job: opening a coffee-roasting live/ work space. (Which, sad, means we won’t get to work together after this year!) But I could not be more happy for him and his wife Kiki. Their coffee is SO good.
Noah and I call it “Luke coffee” and save it for the weekends when we can savor each sip. If you’d also like to savor some really delicious coffee, you can back their project to open Snake Oil Roasters & they’ll send you their tasty beans. If you don’t drink coffee, this would also make a great Christmas or housewarming gift for someone who loves coffee. Click here to find out more.
In Conclusion:
Thank you for reading. Writing BS (ha!) brings me great joy, and I so appreciate hearing from you. Because I can, I’m sharing a few wedding photos below of day made magical by all the love of the family & friends surrounding us.
Happy Sunday, friends.